Thursday, December 3, 2009

Why, How, that is the Question

Why did we have the baby that we loved, protected, comforted, etc for one week taken from us?

We will never know the answer to that question and truthfully I probably do not want to know the truth.

I really feel that the last few weeks of my life were a complete lie:

  • I want you to be the parents for my child. I can not provide for him the way he deserves
  • He will be the only grandchild I do not have to worry about.
  • I want him to have a future and I know he will have a chance with you.
  • My mind is made up, I'm not going to change my mind.
  • Every time I talk to you I'm at ease with my decision./
  • I guess I should stop rambling.

I guess when someone dies you at least know they are going to a better place. I pray Braden is going to be OK. I also pray that birth mom will take care of him and change her lifestyle for her children's sake.

Greg and I have picked up the pieces and are trying to move on. We had an awesome day with just the three of us. And I cherish every moment we have as a family.

I realize God has a plan for us and in the long run I truly believe he was protecting us.

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