Much has changed since my last post about a year ago! After much adoption heartache last year we welcomed a new baby boy into our hearts and home 5-28-10. We named him Ethan Issac he is truly a blessing from God.

As I'm writing this the boys are at my parents so it is very quite in our house.

At time I feel like the worst parent although I'm NOT

Oh no! It has been awhile since I last posted (sorry).

Now for the reason of my Title:)
-When Greg and I are with Landon on the weekends it seems like a constant battle to get him to listen.
-And when he hears the word NO! The poor little guy thinks it is the end of the road. (sounds like me)
-Yesterday we were at home depot and he wanted a paint brush and of course I told him NO and he through a fit for 1/2 hour.
-Yes we have purchased Dr. Dodson's Strong Willed Child book.
-Now for the NOT part When I say "I love you Landon" and he replies "I love you too mommy.

THE BEST AND HARDEST JOB IS BEING A PARENT.

Landon at Grandma and Grandpa Mills

Landon stayed with my mom and dad so they could watch him on monday.
He had an exciting time:
-Long truck ride with Grandpa.
-Running up and down their lane.
-No nap
-P'd outside behind a tree.
-Feed the cows
-went to Altamont to get feed (meet Heidi and was shy)
-was in horror when the cows were out.
-played with snow (flour) only at grandma and grandpa's

I'm truely blessed with great parents and Landon is blessed with awesome grandparents.

Where have I been.

Christmas has come and gone.

Now it is mid January.

I have done many things.
-got ride of junk from our closet, bathroom, basement (the sad part is I still have alot more to go.
-We took family pictures yesterday with my family
-everyday seems to get easier thanks to God and my family.
-back on the active list for adopting (we are guarded but we understand God has the plan for us.
-Landon is getting the hang of not wearing diapers. He even went potty outside today at my parents (yes they live in the country)
-Trying to understand that Landon is only three and I need to be more patient with him.
-blah, blah, blah

I could go on and on.

Picking up the pieces.

Well today I went and saw a counselor. I just knew it would be best for me. The counselor told me that if he would have been close to me and I told him that I was OK he would have known I was telling a lie.

I also called my cousin and spoke and prayed with her. She had sent my whole family a letter about what she wanted to do as a christmas present. And after everything happen I found it really hard to put words on paper. She wanted every one in the family to write how God has blessed them.

This is in no certain order but here are a few of my blessings.
-I first want to mention all the people who he has already called home. Because many of them has help shape me into the person I'm today and some of them I did not meet in person my hear of the often at family functions.
-my parents I'm truly blessed that they gave me and my sisters a loving stable home. I know I do not thank them enough.
-Greg, i prayed for a long time for God to bless me with a wonderful husband and thankfully he blessed me with you. I realize we have our moments but in the end we still have each other.
-Landon, Once Greg and I knew we were ready to start a family and having no success naturally, we tried two IVF attemps and again no success. So we choose adoption for our family. God truly blessed us with you Landon.
-my sisters Kym and Kyra you are the best sisters anyone could ask for. I know there were many times that you would have walked away but you did not and Thank you for that.
-the list could go on but since i'm having trouble seeing through the tears.
My God Bless You

Moving on

Today we have contacted our attorney and our adoption agency to start the process again. We still need to really narrow down some minor details on how or what we are willing to handle with the next adoption.

I still have my emotional times and my temper gets the best of me but I will be OK. Tonight was a great night at our house Landon just has a way of letting you know everything is going to be OK.

I just ordered pictures to put in our Christmas Cards. Thank goodness that the cards are made just need to get them addressed but that will get done.

Lots of Love

Winter Weather is upon us

Winter is here just wish I could see some accumulation of white stuff (snow)

Each day is getting easier:
I still answer we will be ok not ready to say yes I'm OK

With Landon and Greg around how could anyone have a bad day.
Those are two of my favorite men in my life.

I still pray that Braden is being cared for I know he is loved.